What to do if you regret buying your home

Feeling buyer’s remorse over a pair of shoes that weren’t as durable as you hoped is one thing; feeling buyer’s remorse over a house is another entirely. You’d think most homebuyers would feel pretty good about such an enormous financial decision, but a survey from Clever Real Estate found that 93% of homebuyers in 2023 felt regrets. That’s an increase from 72% of homebuyers with regrets in 2022 to the vast majority of homebuyers.

The housing market has been tilted towards sellers for a long time, forcing most buyers to make compromises or sacrifices when looking for a home. Unfortunately, buyer’s remorse isn’t going to get you out of a home purchase.

What makes people regret buying their house?

People regret buying their houses for a number of reasons. Some of the top regrets listed by respondents include:

• Home requires too much maintenance (33%)
• Bought too quickly (30%)
• Spent too much (28%)
• Interest rate too high (28%)
• Pressured to make an offer (23%)
• Don’t like the home’s location (22%)
• Don’t like the neighbors (21%)
• Bought sight unseen (18%)
• Don’t like the house (15%)

While these are all valid reasons to regret making a purchase, they aren’t grounds to reverse the decision to buy a house. It’s unfortunate that so many people have regrets about buying a house, but buyer’s remorse doesn’t get you out of a monthly mortgage obligation.

How do you avoid buyer’s remorse?

The best treatment for buyer’s remorse is to just avoid it completely. So, how do you do that when you’re house hunting in a seller’s market?

Take your time

The housing market today is wildly competitive and it can feel like a pressurized shopping environment. You may see a house you kind of like and feel rushed to put an offer in just to make sure you have a shot to get the house. When the offer gets accepted, suddenly things get real and you’re more likely to talk yourself into something you may not really want.

The best thing you can do to avoid making a decision you regret later is to slow down. Take time to list out absolutely everything you want from a home, and rank what you must have, what would be nice to have, and what you don’t want or can live without. You might even use a house-hunting checklist. Even in a housing shortage, even with a limited budget, there are a lot of houses to see. You’re not looking for perfect, but you don’t want to convince yourself that you like a house that you really don’t.

Whenever you find a house that you might consider making an offer on, take some time to think critically about it. Will it fit your family’s needs? Can you grow into it, or sell it for a profit if you outgrow it in the next few years? Do you like the neighborhood? Can you afford the property taxes? Would you need to make renovations or pay for maintenance immediately?

Take the time to answer as many questions to your satisfaction as possible before making a commitment.

Related: First-time homebuyer mistakes and how to avoid them

Stick to your budget

When you have the high end of your budget in mind, don’t exceed it. As we’ve seen from the data, one of the biggest regrets homebuyers have is that they spent too much. In a seller’s market, you may have to pay over asking price to get a house you really want, but that doesn’t mean you should stretch your budget.

You should always get preapproved for a mortgage when you start looking for a home, but if you’re working with a mortgage broker, ask them to run the numbers at various price points to see what you’re likely to pay. There may be a huge difference in monthly payment between a $500,000, a $550,000, and a $600,000 home. Seeing the numbers will help you get a better idea of your real budget. 

How much house can you afford? Use a mortgage calculator to see your monthly payments.

Communicate with your real estate agent

A real estate professional is a great resource for buyers. Agents are familiar with the areas you’re shopping in so they can help you discern a good deal from a not-so-good one, and give you more information about the areas in which you’re looking.

Make sure they know what’s on your wishlist, too, so they can help you find houses that are worth your time and advise you based on what they know about your home preferences.

Here are 19 questions to need to ask when buying a house

Add contingencies to your offer

Depending on where you’re shopping for a new home, buyer contingencies may be virtually non-existent. Buyers frequently waive home inspections all over the country, but they’re practically unheard of in very hot markets like the New York and Boston metros.

That said, contingencies give buyers an extra layer of protection. You may include an inspection contingency that makes the offer valid only if the house passes an inspection up to your standards. A financing contingency states that you’ll only follow through with the offer if you get acceptable financing in place for the mortgage. An appraisal contingency makes your offer valid only if the house appraises for a satisfactory value.

Each of these contingencies can be strategic ways to limit your risk, but in many markets, adding any contingency to an offer will make it unlikely to be accepted.

What should you do if you regret buying your house?

Unfortunately, if you’re feeling buyer’s remorse after buying your house, you have very few legal options. Federal law states that borrows have the right of rescission, allowing you to cancel certain types of loans within three business days of signing closing documents, but this is only available to homeowners who took out a home equity loan or refinance a mortgage. 

As such, your options are mostly limited to working with what you’ve already got.

Contact your lender

Financial issues are one of the biggest regrets homeowners have when buying their house. If you paid more than your budget or got an interest rate that’s too high, contact your lender as soon as possible. They don’t want you to default on your mortgage and if something has changed in your income or ability to pay, many lenders will work with you to arrange a payment plan.

In many cases, that may mean refinancing into a better interest rate. You must wait at least six months to refinance, but if rates have lowered in that time, you might be able to get a better monthly payment. 

For many homeowners, it may make sense to refinance from a traditional mortgage to an adjustable-rate mortgage (ARM). ARMs offer a lower interest rate for a shorter term than a traditional mortgage. The catch is that after the initial mortgage term (usually 3 or 5 years), the mortgage rate adjusts depending on present mortgage rates. That could be good for a buyer, or it could be much worse. The lender will inform you the maximum rate you could end up with.

Just make sure you have enough cash on hand to pay refinancing fees or you may have experience even more despite the lower costs.

Rent out the extra space

If you’re struggling to make ends meet, remember that your home is a potential source of income. An easy way to make mortgage payments a bit easier is to rent out unused space. That could mean getting a roommate for a spare bedroom or you could rent out a basement, attic, garage, or shed as storage space.

Change your lifestyle

Changing your lifestyle is easier said than done, but if your home is a financial burden, you’ll need to make some sacrifices. Whether it’s skipping the annual vacation for a couple of years or scaling back on how often you dine out, there are myriad little changes to make to your lifestyle that can have outsized financial impact.

How much do you spend on coffee each month? Can you cut back on expensive hobbies like skiing or golfing?

Renovate

You may have bought your house just to get into a great neighborhood, even if you weren’t in love with the house. One of the best ways to make a house more of your own, then, is to renovate. Updating your home can be a headache, but it’s a much more affordable way to improve your living situation than buying a new home.

You don’t have to do anything huge like gutting the kitchen or putting on an entire addition to the home. Smaller projects like updating a bathroom or bedroom could go a long way.

Sell the house

Selling a house shortly after buying is almost never financially prudent. Even in red hot markets, housing prices don’t increase so quickly that you can expect to make a profit before at least two years.

Spending more time in the house as you make mortgage payments and build equity may help you learn to love it. But if not, selling is always an option

Learn more: How soon can I sell my house after buying it?

Start making memories

Perhaps the best way to overcome buyer’s remorse is by simply making it a part of your life. The grass is always greener and life is much easier if you can learn to love what you have rather than constantly pine for what you don’t.

Invite friends and family over, build hosting traditions, and live your life in your new home. The more positive memories you associate with the house, the more likely you are to learn to love it — even if it’s not your “dream” home.